dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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