so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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