I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
