sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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