You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I party with great urgency now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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