if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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