Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize