remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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