I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
