no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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