Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
