he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
