maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
