I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize