good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize