i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
