I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
As shirtless as possible
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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