I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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