quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
