Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize