Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize