i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
How does it feel to date your dad?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
