i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
