It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
