Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize