the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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