Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
