I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
