I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
