Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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