Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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