you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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