i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize