My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
