My room smells like vodka and shame
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
