I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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