Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
