dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
