I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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