i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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