he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
