bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
