I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
