Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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