Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
