Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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