ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
