Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
