Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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