And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
