He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
