i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
even my farts smell like vagina
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Someone came in the potted fern
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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