Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
