that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
