Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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