if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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