You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Small penises have feelings too.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
