Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My penis needs a shock collar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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