Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
