Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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